my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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