Barsexuality is the new black.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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