Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
