Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
