ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
