come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
