God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I am spending my child support on dildos
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize