The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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