There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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