In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
