why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
