I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
