nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
