I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i think my mom watched the whole time
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize