Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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