woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
