I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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