I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
