scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
