worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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