He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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