Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
