how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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