well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
