Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
