Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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