yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
