you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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