She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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