im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
