Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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