were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
