i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Couch. On fire.
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