i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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