I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
