did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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