I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
