I need help removing her.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
