I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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