This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
