do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
