so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
