I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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