i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
