This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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