Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
