Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
