booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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