can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
