A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
