haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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