she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
