I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
even my farts smell like vagina
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
