I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
