is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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