Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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