i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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