I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
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