it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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