Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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