It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize