your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
