I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Your cock deserves a montage
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize