You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
