she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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